Today I spoke with an older friend. They are now living in residential aged care and they have dementia. Sometimes they know that they have dementia and remember earlier experiences of interacting with others in that situation. They express frustration-but then their focus moves to a problem-often one that arose and subsided many years ago.
I pretend that this experience doesn’t affect me. But it does. I understand their journey reasonably well-I worked as a carer in residential aged care for over five years. I cared for people with those and similar diagnoses. There were joyous moments and other experiences that were sad, frustrating or negatively held-for them, their friends and family and for the care staff.
There is no ‘solution’, which is hard for most people-whatever their role. But there are choices that they can still make. My friend is annoyed by the difficulty they have with choosing to do things they know they used to be able to do-with ease. That annoyance will pass as their condition progresses. For them, I hope the planning skills they are renowned for will give them interesting but safe experiences-without danger. I hope they can express themselves safely and effectively while making choices that make them feel empowered.
My research about choice making presupposes that awareness is an important aspect and related goal. My friend shows me that awareness can take many and sometimes unexpected forms.
Dr Michael J Henderson 